Ambrosia
by LotusHaven
Summary: What's happen if Ren find out, that he maybe likes boys too? What will his friend say? And what's about Nana? RenxNana, RenxShin, NobuxHachi, ShinxReira WARNING: Yaoi/lemon/yuri.
1. Prologue: Background

Ambrosia

Prologue: Background

The fantiction isn't fallow the story of the anime or of the manga. This is between the two of them.

Ren and Nana are marriaged, the BLAST is famous, but because of Nana's illness they are on a hiatus now. Nana and Ren are living together, and Ren bought the neighbour for a partyflat. Ren still drug addicted, but he trys to quit it.

Shin and Reira is a cuple, and their friends know it, but this is a secret from media.

Nobu and Hachi live together in the room 707. (Hachi had a night with Takumi, but she isn't carrying his baby. Hachi doesn't pregnant)


	2. Chapter 1: Narita's Party

Chapter 1: Narita's Party

The London tour was the worst thing that can happened with Ren. He argued with Nana and he was very affraid about her attacks. He wanted to quit his drug addiction, but it was very hard.

He was nervous and upset. He tryed to read his mangas, but it didn't worked. He always saw Nana on the ground. He asked Nobu and Yasu to take care of his wife but both of them worked very hard. He can't experct from them to take care of Nana 24 hours.

His hands were shakeing. He can't play with them but he didn't want to use drug. He changed his strategy. _Sometimes I will use it, but just a little_ – he thought. Untill this, he always wanted to quit radically, and it always had the same ending: he used it again.

But he affraid. The drug was a very big trap. An addicted always wants more and more untill he become death. But Ren knows why he become an addicted. He never trust in himself. Who trust in someone who was leaving by his parents? But he felt himself stronger now. He know that he is an addicted and he want to quit it not for Nana for his better future. For his happiness. Now he thinks that drug addiction just a bad habbit.

When he looked at Reira, he looked in a very beautiful but very sas eyes. He didn't want to be regretted. He dind't want to be the victim.

Firstly, Ren hated Narita. Nobody loved him. But during his deep addiction time they talked a lot. They had a same secret. Narita gave him cocain first, and he give him now too. Everybody know his secret, but nobody know how much he trust in Narita. They became friends somehow.

„Can everybody tell me, why Narita come with use? I don't miss him", said Takumi.

Ren didn't listen to him. He looked to the clouds. He wanted to smoke but he couldn't do it on the plane.

When they landed, they got their's luggages, and they had to go to the hotel. But in the car smoking was allowed.

Ren doesn't like London very mutch. It always raining, and british people always eat bread with bread. He wanted to eat Nana's meal, he wanted to eat with chopsticks, and sleep a lot. He became very lazy in the last few weeks.

„And here is my band", said Narita, when Trapnest arrived to the hotel. „I thought you will never arrive."

„There was a little problem with the check in", answered Takumi, and he asked his roomcard from the receptionist.

Ren doesn't like to wait in the hotel's hall. He likes his fans, and he can speak in English, but not as fluently like Reira. He hates to speak in English.

„Ask mine too", he said to Takumi.

After Takumi give his cart to him, Ren went to the elevator. But Narita stopped him.

„Don't be a heroe!", said by the boss, and he slided a little paper in Ren's pocket.

„I am the badboy, you know it."

Ren didn't look at Takumi in the lift. He watched his reflection. He wanted to find the young Ren who lived with Nana in this lonly warehouse, but he didn't find that boy. _I have to live a better way_, he thought.

In his room, he opened the letter. There was just a short message in it. I will wait for you in front of the hotel at 7 pm. We will go to a party.

Ren looked to his mobile. There was 5:30 pm. He had one and a half hour untill 7. Too little to sleep, but too much to watching the ceiling.

He had a shower. The warm water relaxed his muscles. His head ached. He wanted to call Nana, but he didn't know what would he say. He felt, that he betrayed Nana with this tour.

He washed his hair. He didn't like to do this before the concert, but now he just go to a party. And he didn't want to cheat Nana.

He arrived first. He wore a black cap and a sunglasses. He wanted to hide from his fans. He lighted a Seven Stars.

„You was very quick", said Narita, and he lighted a cigarette too. When he works he doesn't smoke. Only in his freetime.

„What about the others?"

„It will be a private party".

Ren knew what these private partys about: drug, alcohol and girls. He wanted neither.

„And what's if I don't want it?"

„Come on! You want it. We both know it"

Ren don't want to argue. He sat into the limousine. The driver heard some pop music from a famous DJ. Ren hated it. Ha was a rocker.

„Can't we listening something else?"

„Forget your Nana's album!"

„I'm not thinking about BLAST now. Calm down!"

Finally, they listened Trapnest. Ren didn't mind it. These was his acquest. And he was proud for them.

„Where are we going?"

„For my friend's partyhouse"

„And what will we do there? Drinking? Sex with prostitute?"

„Have fun. Like we always did"

Ren didn't say anything to it. He watched a lights. He knew some hours later, he won't see anything just a new illusion. Sometimes he wants to vomit from his thoughts.

Ren was drunk. He was in a square, but he didn't know wich square. Narita was totally drunk too.

„And what's about this blond girl? Was she great?", asked Ren with a big smile.

„Three from five. But you had the opportunity to figure out. She wanted you"

„I'm a marriaged man. And I don't like silicone."

„But she had a very beautiful breast"

„I though to her lips"

Ren sat on the bench. He dizy a little. He drank too much.

„I figured out your new album photo. It will be very hot. You will lay on a bed, and Reira will be int he front. You know between you and Takumi. Imagine it like a little rest after a good sex"

„So we will naked?"

Narita started to laugh. He was drinking vodka. Ren didn't want to mix alcohols. He was drinking whisky.

„You know, I always think about Takumi's hair. And I don't know why, but when I think about him, I always see a horse", said Narita.

„Interesting",nodded Ren. He can imagine Takumi like a centaure.

„And the worst that I always see him when I close my eyes"

Ren had to laugh in it. Takumi had a armada of fans, but he never sees any man who likes Takumi.

„And when you think about Takumi, who is the girl?"

„I dont think to hime like this!"

„That how?"

„I don't know. I just see him"

„Than I chase away him", said Ren, and he kissed Narita.

It was just a few moments, but Narita freaked out. He jumped up to the banch, and try to be as far as Ren that is possible.

„Are you crazy? You kissed me!"

„I'm sure, that you won't have nightmares if you think about me"

Narita become white, when he see to Ren's lips. He was absolutly shocked.

„I'm just joked", saind Ren.

„God, it was very freaky!"

„But I'm a handsome man, you know it too".

During the rode to the hotel, they didn't talk. Narita was still in a shock, and Ren laught too hard to say anything.

„Don't you want to continue the party in my room?", asked Ren.

„After you kissed me? I don't think so"

„Please, I want to talk with you".

Narita nodded, and he followed Ren to his room. Ren take off his cap and his sunglasses, and he lay on his bed.

„What will be the topic?", asked Narita. He lighted a new cigarette.

„What do you think?"

„Maybe, why are you kiss men?"

„I don't know. You come to my room at night, not me"

„Ren, you know what I think about you addiction. If you need it to write songs, I won't stop you. But if you feel that you can't live without it, you have to stop.

„Yes, I'm your stupid moneymaker"

„You know, that you mean a lot to me"

Ren wish, that Nana thinks it too. He loves her so much, but Nana just thinks about herself. Her pride was always more importent then her love. Then Ren. And that was the most painful in Ren's life. He wants to be the first to Nana.

„Ren, if you find yourself, you will be happy. But you know that."

„And who I am? The playboy? The rocker? The heroe? The drug addicted? Say, Narita! Who I am?

„Everyone of these, and non of these. You are Ren. It says everything. You are the only one who doesn't see it"

_Maybe he is right_, thought Ren, and he slept.


	3. Chapter 2: Helping out

Chapter 2: Helping out

The concert was great. The fans was satisfied with the music, Narita was satisfied with the income. Ren felt the concerts become bigger and bigger every time. And they become further off their fans. Bodyguards, cordons, paid talkins with the fans. He felt envy for BLAST. The know their fans.

„Let's go to party!" Naoki was very excited. He dragged Reira with himself to the elevator.

„Oh my God! Why is he coming?", said Takumi nervously, when he saw Narita.

„Maybe he afraid, that we cause a trouble".

Takumi dugged to his long, black hair and Ren started to remember to the last night's party. It was very hard to not laught.

Takumi didn't say anything to Ren's funnytime. He was always like this, when he used drugs. But Ren was clear – which was a secret from everyone.

The went to an elegant pub. Sweet girls danced on the stage, and the music wasn't too loud. They can talked very easyly.

„How are you, Ren?", asked Reira. She was very attractive in her black dress.

„Great, but if I look to your body too much, this pans will be very uncomfortable. The space in it started to dissapeare."

„Perverse!"

Ren hug Reira very tight, and he smelt her long, wavy hair. He loves her. She is his best friend, maybe the only one who really care about by his addiction.

„You arrived back to the hotel late at night. Can you slepp enought?"

„Relax, Reira. I'm OK. You don't have to be worryed."

Reira kissed Ren's hand, and she went to find Naoki. Ren's never understant this. Naoki was very funny, but also hyperactivited and loud.

He ordered a whisky. He isn't wants to be drunk at the moment.

Narita arrived with a very nervous and a little bit scared face. He ran like a victim.

„You have to help me out. I made out with a girl, and she doesn't want to leave me"

„And why are you need my help?"

„This is different now. I've never seen a girl like her. She knows everything about me. Firsly, I liked it. You now, I'm the boss, but noone knows me. But that girl knows everything about my family."

„And why are you worry? Are you afraid from you wife?"

„My wife died one and a half years ago. I worry about my daughter"

That was a time, when Ren figured out, that he doesn't know anything about his boss. He knows his daugter, because she is a big fan of him, but nothing more.

„And did you lie to that girl that you have a girlfriend?"

„I lied everything, but this girl is a massive fan".

And then Ren saw that girl. She was slim, and she has brown curly hair. She seemed to be 25. Ren didn't understand a girl who can't be more then 25 why dateing with a man, who are 46.

„Help me!"

„How?"

„I don't know. Try to seduce her"

„She is your fan, not mine"

„I don't care. Please, help me somehow".

Ren knew why Narrita afraid so much. The fans sometimes very strange. He talks with them very rarely, and because of it everyone thinks that he is a very shy, taciturn boy.

„Love, why did you leave me?", asked by a girl.

„Ren…" Narita was out of his mind.

„OK, but you asked it."

Ren grab softly Narita's chin, and he kissed him. He tasted his lips very carefully, and then he slided his tongue.

Ren had never kissed a boy like this before. But It wasn't different from a kiss with a girl. He liked it. It didn't matter that he suck his boss's tongue.

Firstly, it was a simle kiss. He felt the curiosity but nothing more. But few minutes later after few circles, the started to enjoyed it. It was very flatterying that he was the dominant man.

He dugged his fingers to Narita's blond hair, and he pulled his head closer. I wanted more and more.

That was a time when a magic broke.

Narita stopped the kissing and he looked to the bartender. The man was very embarressed. He gave a glass of vodka to Narita.

A fan was shovked. She looked to Ren and to Narita, and to Ren again and finally to Narita. Then you ran away.

'Your welcome"

„What I should thanks to you? You slipped you tongue to my mouth" He drank vodka like he wanted to disinfedted his tongue.

„You asked me to help. It was effective."

„I think it was disgusting".

Ren was suprised. He didn't think that is was disgusting. He enjoyed it. Not like with Nana, because if he kisses her, he feels like his body on fire, but Narita's kiss was also very fine.

Before this kiss, he had never tought about this. Noone from his friends was homosexual. He was sure that he loves girl. Like he always did. He slept with girls, he was beguiled by girls, and he always think to girls if he was horny.

_Can it be, that I'm bisexual? Or just opened?_ –thought. It was sure that he loved that kiss. I didn't want Nairta's body, he just wanted to own him. He was always the leader with Nana. But to surmound an another man… _Am I crazy? How could I think that it's thrilling?_

„You know, I started to afraid from you"

„I like girls"

„Really? We are here for two days, and you kissed me yesterday, and todey too. If you don't want to have a party with me, just say it. But don't kiss me again"

Ren smiled. Narita is a very great friend of him. He like to be in his side.

„And when I have to write the new album?"

„Everytime you want. After the tour, you will get a little break with your cute Nana"

Ren was happy. He wanted to be Nana. Maybe if he spent more time with her, everything will be cleaner.

„Well, honeyboy let's go to drive!", said Narita.

„Honeyboy?"

Ren sat in the yellow sportcar, and the drive to the park. Narita parked near to a big tree.

„Don't you afraid, that the cops caught you?"

„There are always a corruption. The one thing wich chaneges the prize"

Ren turned the volume up, and he lighted a cigarette. While Narita soak up the drug, he smoked. Few weeks ago he wanted to stop smoking, but than he failed.

„You you like boys."

„I don't think so"

„But you enjoyed that kiss. But I understand it. I'm perfect"

„Stay in a ground, please"

„Too late"

Ren was confused. That day was too much for him.

„Do you think that I'm gay?"

„No, absolutly not. You just pervent. Yes, you enjoyed the kiss, but it's not sure that you want to fuck a man"

„Thanks for your opinion"

Narita was right, he couldn't imagine to have sex with a man. He wanted to sex with Nana.

„Well, Narita…". Narita didn't say anythint. He was in an other world now.

Ren had never seen an addiction during in the ecstasy. He knew what is it like if you are in it, but he had never seen it.

„Tell me, Narita, is it worh it?" He know that his boss wont answer to it, but he wanted to asked it.

He closed his eyes and thought to Nana. She was so beautiful to him. Everything. The hope, the love, the happiness. _I love you so much, Nana._


End file.
